Home Alone

Being a Busy Girl often means spending a lot of time with other people - working at the office late, looking after the kids for long periods of time, fending for friends & partners - but can spending time with others be a way of avoiding time with yourself?

Sara is 34, she lives alone with her cat Freddy in a 2 bedroom house just outside Cheadle. She's got a great job which she actually really enjoys, she earns a good salary (well, a little more would always be nice). She's really busy with work & keeping the house tidy, seeing friends & her boyfriend (who's ok, not The One, but good company all the same).

From the outside Sarah has a good life, she seems happy & she's always got something exciting happening in her life. But that's where the problem lies - Sarah fills her life with activities because she hates being alone. She busies herself with something to go out & do every night, she gets out of the house whenever she can & won't spend a night in on her own.

The fact is Busy Girls, to be truly physically independent & to really enjoy relationships you do have, it's a must to learn to enjoy your own company. For the simple fact that one day, God forbid, you may be forced to spend some time alone... be it a relationship that breaks up, a best friend who moves away, or a job change - the inevitable could happen & you may find yourself with your own company.

They say prevention is better than cure - so why not get used to the odd day without a friend to visit or a shop to search out, you may start to actually enjoy yourself alone.

Recognise it

The first thing you need to do is to realise this may be an issue for you. Ask yourself how much time you really spend alone & how much time you actually like to spend alone. Rather than feel guilty about it, do something positive & change it now.

Treat yourself

The best way to be alone is to actually do something by yourself that you enjoy. Life can stop for a few minutes while you take a long soak in the bath with a glass of wine. Or, why not stay in & make yourself a nice meal? Next time the man in your life wants a night out with the lads, try graciously agreeing to a night in alone & have a plan... get the wine out, have a bath ready, grab some magazines & relax. Think of it as a good time to watch something on the TV that he doesn't like watching, enjoy the fact you can make selfish choices for a change.

Relax honey

We're all Busy Girls, but that doesn't mean we have to be so consumed with being Busy that we depend on others to bring us fun. Do you remember what it was like when you didn't have so much responsibility, when you could just go for a drive in the country, just for the hell of it? When you could lie in bed all Sunday morning drinking tea & reading the papers? Remember when you'd while away the evenings in front of the TV? Ok, so life may be a little more complicated now, but that doesn't mean all this 'me-time' has to stop completely.

For the next 3 weeks I'd like you to try something (remember it takes 3 weeks for a new habit to stick) - I'd like you to do something you enjoy, alone, every day for at least 5 minutes. Whether it's lying on the bed reading the latest copy of Vogue - cooking your favourite meal & eating alone for a change - watching the sun go down in the back garden & contemplating the day or even reading a chapter of a new book whilst relaxing in a hot bath, just make sure you're alone.

I'll be coming back next week to see how you get on & to give you a few more tips... trust me, time alone could soon be something you volunteer for... how about that?

Love Lucy x

Lucy O'Neill
Lifestyle & Business Coach
The Busy Girls Guide
Manchester & Cheshire