Hello Lover? Dating Special - Part Five

Life & Love

BusyGirl Jenna continues her journey into the depths of her heart. When her first love comes back on the scene, life gets a little more complex...

Wow, what a difference a month makes! Fate had intervened and was dragging me (kicking and screaming) back into the relationship bubble I'd been avoiding for months. Two weeks ago, my life became determined by some seriously impeccable timing, proving that sometimes, ghosts you may think you've left behind, can pop up when you least expect them to.

I certainly wasn't prepared to come face to face with my first love on the first day of my new job. Nor was I prepared for the phone call that followed, particularly after I'd rushed straight past him as if he didn't exist. What I really didn't see coming however, was to be sitting across from him three days later, being told that his feelings for me had strengthened and that he wanted to give us a try. But what was so different about this time? In the past, neither of us had been prepared to move forward, possibly through fear of what it might mean. After all, it was all just memories of young love wasn't it?

Following his revelations, I sat there stunned, and rather than revel in the moment that I'd thought would never come and jump up and down like a lunatic, I couldn't speak. Despite thinking about him for months, I was shocked, confused and completely terrified. It seems that it had taken me giving up on him and deleting him out of my life, to make him sit up and realise what he wanted. But it wasn't about what he wanted anymore. It was about what I wanted. And after the last few weeks, I wasn't so sure what that was.

He'd changed, that was obvious. He believed in himself and he believed in us. We weren't the same people we were back then and I couldn't quite believe that even after six years apart, the butterflies were fluttering just as frantically as the first time. He knew he had a lot to prove, but for me, it was more about happiness. It was about how we made each other feel. I was still fearful though and I couldn't work out if it was the realisation that this could really be it or the idea of opening myself up to something that had previously destroyed me. Either way, I knew I had to find out, even if it was simply a case of achieving closure. Nevertheless, I wasn't ready to kiss my single life goodbye just yet, because this time, I wasn't going to fall unless there was someone there to catch me.

A few dates later and we're 'taking it slow'. Who's to know where it will take us. One thing's for sure though, if he lets me down once more, someones chestnuts really will be roasting on an open fire.